Things I found when excavating my closet:

• an unopened Hellboy figure
• an unopened G.I. Joe figure
• the boxes for three Transformers and four Marvel figures purchased over a year ago
• two unworn pairs of shoes
• my graduation gown
• a sweater
• a beer can
• my old guitar case (yes, the entire case)
• a crocheted blanket
• a mouse pad
  

Seriously.

Musings from last night

From pocket notebook, 11/9/09

***

I had a daydream that I met a girl from my past.

I was adrift, and came to the church where she was a nun, like she said she wanted to be when we were so young. I approached her - at first she recoiled from me. She had not expected anyone to recognize her, and at that moment she didn't recognize me - I'd grown rougher and more fearsome than the boy she knew once. Recognition dawned when I spoke her name - she had a different one now - and she told me that my coming had been foretold to her.

One of her sisters told her a vision of a wounded wolf, clad in red and black, a terrifying beast that nevertheless did not move to harm her when she came near.

I told her my name - mine was different, too - and the vision became true in her mind. We had not forgotten each other, but knew now that there existed no world that would accommodate us for more than a moment. She loved me once, but she loved God more. I loved her once, but the road was my true lady.

When we parted, it was a sad parting. It made my heart feel sore to leave her in that place, so for the next long, long while, I chose to feel nothing.

***

I don't like ringing people's doorbells. I also don't dance.

***

It is when we are children that our passions are immediate, corporeal, real. We are taught, moment by moment and year by year, that we should restrain these passions; it is improper, unseemly, ungainly to be as we were as children, unrestrained in our passions. But this passion is the source of man's vibrancy, his life; in being taught to restrain our passions, we are steadily and slowly being taught to die.

***

No man need be
taught to die; one
way or the next, he
will find a way to
do it. If indecision
takes him for too
very long, Death
will assign him one.

Attitude Implants - On the Topics of the Management of Time, Money, and the Person

It's time for some attitude implants. There are more things than just the following to change about yourself, but we will begin with mechanical things before we move into more complex resolutions. What follows is a set of resolutions to adapt, concerning time management, money management, and physical health.

ON THE TOPIC OF MONEY

- Substances of health-injuring and otherwise objectionable properties are out of the budget. You want them? Find someone else who'll pay for them, because not another red cent of your own money will go to these things.
- There's food at home. Make things to bring with you rather than buying food while you're out. If it's necessary, don't exceed $10 on food. Social situations concerning food are excepted, in moderation.
- The plastic crack collection is officially out of control. Once you have regulated your schedule as outlined below, it'll be time to start eBaying items that you've had stored for a long time. Once the eBay process has begun, spend no more on new items than you earned by hawking the old.

ON THE TOPIC OF HEALTH

- Reiterating from the above, the booze, energy drinks, and soda are doing you no favors. They are out of the budget and out of your lifestyle. Keep a full bottle of water with you at all times and keep hydrated. Whether you're bringing food with you or going out, the soda is out. If you need to wake up, coffee is permissible.
- Resume your daily walk and accompany it with other exercises. These are outlined below.
- Your wildly variable sleep schedule is out of hand. Regulate it; aim for between 7-8 hours a night, but if burning some midnight oil is necessary, be sure to get no LESS than six hours a night.

HABITS TO BE OBSERVED DAILY

- You are a student. At present, this is obligation number one. Observe the formula that dad told to you: every week, for every hour you spend in class, spend at least two in study. Keep current with reading and assignments, read ahead when possible, take notes on your reading, and supplement it with whatever guides you can find, even if they be Wikipedia and Sparknotes. Obviously, there are days where you have more in-class hours than others, so this measurement will need to modulate, but generally speaking it's easy enough to spend the extra hours on the days with the fewest or no classes. Once you have accounted for the actual amounts of time that this and the following tasks will take, make a day schedule that's easiest to meet.
- You are an artist. It is necessary and proper for you to create art. Spend at least an hour a day on artwork. If somehow inspired during the day, sketch the idea. If you haven't any ideas, continue filling in some pre-existing piece of work (lines, colors, etc.). Even if your hands are misbehaving, you can still deliberately draw crap to get out of it. Again, at least an hour a day; however, keep it to that hour if other more immediate responsibilities are on you. Publish what you're working on to dA, unless you were adding to a pre-existing work. Allow yourself to be reviewed.
- You are a writer. It is highly necessary that you write. Again, spend at least an hour writing something that is unrelated to school. This includes creating or adding to stories, writing journals, stream of consciousness, anything. Also to reiterate, at least an hour is necessary, but don't exceed that if there are more immediate requirements for your time. Publish your stories and journals to your blog or to dA if you like.
- Time to tune it up. Regardless of what time it is, resume the walking route you used to take up the hill and around Earlmont. Time this walk to better build a schedule that can include it.
- Aim to be in bed at or before midnight and be up the next morning by 8.

HABITS TO BE OBSERVED WEEKLY

- Launder clothes weekly. Launder sheets every other week. Fridays are auspicious days for these tasks.
- In conjunction with your walk, tack on an extra bit of exercise. Meet a 3-day schedule of variance as follows: on the first day, go to the elementary school while on your walk and jog around the field, at least a 4-lap circuit. On the second day, indoor exercises, focusing on the trunk of your body (maybe look into pilates?). On the third day, just power-walk and take the long route on the eastern leg of Earlmont on your walk.

An Story Amusing-like and an Proposal Which is Hearty

So I woke up in a panic, actually saying aloud "SHIT SHIT SHIT" because for some reason I thought I was late for work already. Scant seconds later, my 5:40 alarm rang. Apparently, my internal clock already made the Daylight Saving jump.

On the plus side, waking up in the grip of sheer occupational terror is awesome if you don't have time to make coffee. WHOOSH.

Anyhow, I've been knocking an idea around in my head for a "That Guy With the Glasses"-type of review show called "Adapt/Advance". If you've ever seen the Nostalgia Critic, in particular his special "Old vs. New" series, it'd be a little like that -- considering two versions of the same piece of fiction from different times, i.e. considering the Gene Wilder and Johnny Depp versions of each of the "Chocolate Factory" movies. However, it'd have a more academic spin on things, considering the ancient/classic origins of our favorite modern-day pieces of fiction, considering how the adaptations of the classic are evolved and advanced throughout the years -- ergo, "Adapt/Advance".

Example: I have an episode in mind called, "How to sell your soul to the devil". I'd start with the story of the Damnation of Faust, then consider things like the legends of Robert Johnson and Paganini, films like "The Pick of Destiny" and both versions of "Bedazzled", and comics like Ghost Rider and the "One More Day" storyline in Spider-Man. It would be an exploration of how the classic informs the modern, presented in a humorous way.

It can be done? Maybe?

Your Cultural Relativism/Linguistics Lesson for the Day

Today's lesson: the difference between English and Japanese.

--

Consider the phoneme expressed in the IPA as "aj".

In English, the word expressed by that single phoneme is "I", a word quickly and loosely defined as "me" or "myself".

In Japanese, there is also a word expressed by that single phoneme: "ai," the word which translates into English as "love".

So the sound "aj" means "me" in English, and, in a funny way, "us" in Japanese. In English, the thing you never find in "team," in Japanese, the most beautiful kind of partnership. In English, selfishness; in Japanese, giving.

One month ago today...

I made a post.

I am making another today.

PENIS

Good day, everyone on my buddy list! Enjoy your free penis!


Person 1: wtf
Person 1: ...thanks, I guess
Person 1: >_>
WMX: I felt like everyone needed a little more penis in their day today.
Person 1: is it a chocolate penis?
WMX: It is REDEEMABLE for a chocolate penis. One-for-one at your local peniseria.
Person 1: aww man
Person 1: Bozeman doesn't have a peniseria
Person 1: when does it expire?
WMX: Uhm... it's good for the rest of the year, I think.
WMX: Nope, read that wrong. All penises expire in 2012.
Person 1: oh good
Person 1: so I can get it at Christmas
WMX: Yep.
WMX: With the crazy holiday deals they do, you might be able to redeem it for TWO chocolate penises.
Person 1: or maybe an eggnog flavored one!
WMX: Or a chocolate one with eggnog in it.
Person 1: ooo
Person 1: or
Person 1: just maybe
Person 1: there will be leftover pumpkin pie ones from thanksgiving
WMX: Oh. I've actually GOT an apple pie one if you want that now. But I'm gonna need that penis back if you take it.
Person 1: nah, I hate apple pie
WMX: Well, then keep your penis until you can reach a penis dispensary where you can redeem it for the penis of your choice.
Person 1: I'll do that
Person 1: thanks
Person 1: :P


Person 2: wow! thanks, D! I've always wanted a free penis.
WMX: I felt like everyone needed a little more penis in their day today.
Person 2: good thinking. I sure did.
WMX: Well, I'm glad you enjoy your penis.
WMX: Bobby's holding onto his until he can redeem it for a chocolate penis.
Person 2: he says you have an apple pie one
Person 2: can I have that one?
Person 2: I LOVE apple pie
WMX: If I give it to you, I'm gonna need the first one back.
WMX: I'm not MADE of penis, you know.
Person 2: aww
Person 2: I can't have two?
WMX: Well, where would you put the first one while you're working on the second?
Person 2: hmm, good point. I guess I'm being greedy
Person 2: well, I like apple pie, so I'll trade you, then
WMX: I mean, maybe if you come around later I can slip you some extra penis under the table.
WMX: But for right now, I'll trade you up.
Person 2: sweet. maybe I'll come back later, too, then
Person 2: ^_^

Person 3: <-_-> mass messages, really?

Man...

How do people manage to go their entire lives doing things they can't stand?

So my dad broke his leg... again.

What's funny about it is I know exactly what he was there to do, so I have a pretty good play-by-play of what happened tonight. Somehow, it came up in conversation over dinner what he was doing tonight. It was an odd case in an odd location, so everything about tonight has been strange. First of all, he had to open and close, but not actually perform a surgery himself. A neurologist had to perform spinal surgery on a patient from the anterior (read: "front"), because a POSTERIOR entry had somehow been rendered impossible. What that basically means is, someone (i.e., my dad) had to open the body up and essentially move all the guts out of the way so the performing doc could get at the spine. Also, dad was doing this at Glendale Memorial in a strange twist of events, which is a place he basically NEVER does cases. So already, this was a very strange one for him.

Anyway, he's about to open like he's supposed to, but somehow, while moving the patient, he managed to be on his knees by the slab. One of the docs in there managed to step on dad's leg while he was in a kneeling position, and crack.

But he was able to get his bit done, at least, so the neuro doc could get to work while they blitzed dad to imaging to X-ray his leg. Sure enough, it's broken. That's when he calls my sister to tell her the happy news, saying he needs his moon boot for support, as well as his walker and wheelchair. So my car's all out of gas and we didn't have time to stop, so we hijack my mom's car and put the equiment in. Now, we weren't sure exactly how sneaky we needed to be, so we both got our badges (my employee badge and her RN student badge), and I found a Glendale Memorial scrub shirt that didn't fit me. I gave it to Julia for some extra James Bond disguise factor (just in case security didn't acquiesce to our request to rescue someone who was saving someone's life. People can be stupid.)

We motored. Fortunately, we didn't HAVE to be spies, but we were worried that we might. But we made it to the reception desk and security made a quick call. They sent us on up. Anyway, we delivered the package and saw dad. He was okay, and didn't appear even to be in any pain. He just wanted his moon boot for support. As soon as he got it on, he hobbled back to OR on his walker like it was no big thang. So Julia's there with him now, and I came back to pick up Ray. Now we're just waiting for him to finish up.

Creepy parallel to my own life: the first and second times he broke his leg are like the first and second times I broke my arm. The first time was due to the breakee's own stupidity and while dad broke both legs, I broke both bones in my arm. The second time was someone ELSE'S fault for knocking the breakee down, and only ONE thing was broken (my dad's worse leg, my radius).

Spooky.

Daily Dose of Dave 2.0 #1

Back when I used Livejournal for anything significant, I had a feature called the "Daily Dose of Dave". It was a means by which I made myself write daily, even if it was just a few words about absolutely nothing. Sometimes my posts were even about the act of posting itself, or why I was almost about to not post.

Though I keep a writing journal, and like a proper writer I do write every day, I figure it's time again to be a whore and show people what I come up with, random thoughts though they may be.

You'll notice that there's a post here from months ago, when this son of a bitch was new. I had originally intended to post my process narrative for TGSR here, but as I updated it, I decided I liked more and more the idea that it'd be a "special feature" for any potential published version of TGSR. If that's what people want, then okay.

What is a process narrative, you ask? Well, I'm glad you did. A "process narrative" is a tool I was taught to use as a writer growing up in the mean streets of Los Angeleez. (Okay, I learned about it during my short stint in Northridge, but that is completely nonsequitary.) The short explanation for it is, "it's the story of the story." It's something like a progress report and something like a mission journal, talking about everything that went into creating a thing, and what was going on that affected its creation. The first one I ever wrote was for a short story that I created for a narrative writing class, incidentally the class whose teacher told me about the concept of the process narrative. Said narrative ended up being roughly as long as the story itself.

I made an interesting discovery there -- that it seems like I'm writing process narratives more than I write finished works. Like, there's that thing that I've more or less been working on since high school, the core continuity of which I have revamped more often than DC Comics has used the word "Crisis". I'm often writing character profiles and stray thoughts about the thing, including the drastic changes I've made since the project's inception. But only now and then do I write any of it out. Sure, here and there I have a fairly complete idea for a scene and I go about scripting it, but overall it feels like once I start writing in earnest, I will not be allowed to stop. So I don't begin until I feel I have the time and freedom to write it in earnest -- which I don't, or don't feel I do.

It feels instead like architecture; like I need to draw all the blueprints and test all the physics and clear with all the contractors and get every last tiny detail out of the way before I can lay a single brick. And that's only partially due to "launch anxiety". The rest of it has to do with how drastically the project as a whole has changed over the years. Yes, it changes to be light-years better than it was previously, but the fact is that it changes. I might start something and get a thousand pages into it, then decide I have a whole new idea about the entire thing and scrap it all. It is an irksome thought.