Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Musings from last night

From pocket notebook, 11/9/09

***

I had a daydream that I met a girl from my past.

I was adrift, and came to the church where she was a nun, like she said she wanted to be when we were so young. I approached her - at first she recoiled from me. She had not expected anyone to recognize her, and at that moment she didn't recognize me - I'd grown rougher and more fearsome than the boy she knew once. Recognition dawned when I spoke her name - she had a different one now - and she told me that my coming had been foretold to her.

One of her sisters told her a vision of a wounded wolf, clad in red and black, a terrifying beast that nevertheless did not move to harm her when she came near.

I told her my name - mine was different, too - and the vision became true in her mind. We had not forgotten each other, but knew now that there existed no world that would accommodate us for more than a moment. She loved me once, but she loved God more. I loved her once, but the road was my true lady.

When we parted, it was a sad parting. It made my heart feel sore to leave her in that place, so for the next long, long while, I chose to feel nothing.

***

I don't like ringing people's doorbells. I also don't dance.

***

It is when we are children that our passions are immediate, corporeal, real. We are taught, moment by moment and year by year, that we should restrain these passions; it is improper, unseemly, ungainly to be as we were as children, unrestrained in our passions. But this passion is the source of man's vibrancy, his life; in being taught to restrain our passions, we are steadily and slowly being taught to die.

***

No man need be
taught to die; one
way or the next, he
will find a way to
do it. If indecision
takes him for too
very long, Death
will assign him one.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Attitude Implants - On the Topics of the Management of Time, Money, and the Person

It's time for some attitude implants. There are more things than just the following to change about yourself, but we will begin with mechanical things before we move into more complex resolutions. What follows is a set of resolutions to adapt, concerning time management, money management, and physical health.

ON THE TOPIC OF MONEY

- Substances of health-injuring and otherwise objectionable properties are out of the budget. You want them? Find someone else who'll pay for them, because not another red cent of your own money will go to these things.
- There's food at home. Make things to bring with you rather than buying food while you're out. If it's necessary, don't exceed $10 on food. Social situations concerning food are excepted, in moderation.
- The plastic crack collection is officially out of control. Once you have regulated your schedule as outlined below, it'll be time to start eBaying items that you've had stored for a long time. Once the eBay process has begun, spend no more on new items than you earned by hawking the old.

ON THE TOPIC OF HEALTH

- Reiterating from the above, the booze, energy drinks, and soda are doing you no favors. They are out of the budget and out of your lifestyle. Keep a full bottle of water with you at all times and keep hydrated. Whether you're bringing food with you or going out, the soda is out. If you need to wake up, coffee is permissible.
- Resume your daily walk and accompany it with other exercises. These are outlined below.
- Your wildly variable sleep schedule is out of hand. Regulate it; aim for between 7-8 hours a night, but if burning some midnight oil is necessary, be sure to get no LESS than six hours a night.

HABITS TO BE OBSERVED DAILY

- You are a student. At present, this is obligation number one. Observe the formula that dad told to you: every week, for every hour you spend in class, spend at least two in study. Keep current with reading and assignments, read ahead when possible, take notes on your reading, and supplement it with whatever guides you can find, even if they be Wikipedia and Sparknotes. Obviously, there are days where you have more in-class hours than others, so this measurement will need to modulate, but generally speaking it's easy enough to spend the extra hours on the days with the fewest or no classes. Once you have accounted for the actual amounts of time that this and the following tasks will take, make a day schedule that's easiest to meet.
- You are an artist. It is necessary and proper for you to create art. Spend at least an hour a day on artwork. If somehow inspired during the day, sketch the idea. If you haven't any ideas, continue filling in some pre-existing piece of work (lines, colors, etc.). Even if your hands are misbehaving, you can still deliberately draw crap to get out of it. Again, at least an hour a day; however, keep it to that hour if other more immediate responsibilities are on you. Publish what you're working on to dA, unless you were adding to a pre-existing work. Allow yourself to be reviewed.
- You are a writer. It is highly necessary that you write. Again, spend at least an hour writing something that is unrelated to school. This includes creating or adding to stories, writing journals, stream of consciousness, anything. Also to reiterate, at least an hour is necessary, but don't exceed that if there are more immediate requirements for your time. Publish your stories and journals to your blog or to dA if you like.
- Time to tune it up. Regardless of what time it is, resume the walking route you used to take up the hill and around Earlmont. Time this walk to better build a schedule that can include it.
- Aim to be in bed at or before midnight and be up the next morning by 8.

HABITS TO BE OBSERVED WEEKLY

- Launder clothes weekly. Launder sheets every other week. Fridays are auspicious days for these tasks.
- In conjunction with your walk, tack on an extra bit of exercise. Meet a 3-day schedule of variance as follows: on the first day, go to the elementary school while on your walk and jog around the field, at least a 4-lap circuit. On the second day, indoor exercises, focusing on the trunk of your body (maybe look into pilates?). On the third day, just power-walk and take the long route on the eastern leg of Earlmont on your walk.